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  • Writer's pictureMark Flowers

Divorced? Go on a Date with Yourself This Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day can be an absolute bummer after a divorce. All those heart-shaped balloons in the grocery store, the jewelry commercials on TV, and the sappy messages littering your social media feed serve as a continuous reminder of what you don’t have. Don’t let Valentine’s Day make you feel like the only single person in the world. Instead of hiding away at home and shunning all social media, turn Valentine’s Day into a celebration of love for the person who truly matters… you!

It’s time to take back Valentine’s Day by going on a date with yourself.

The Perfect Date for You

Divorce has a way of sapping self-confidence and leaving self-doubt in its place. Even if the divorce was the right decision for you, that doesn’t mean you won’t feel anxious or lonely afterward. And then comes Valentine’s Day trying to convince you that everyone else is loved.

What are you going to do about it?

Take yourself on a date, that’s what.

The best thing about dating yourself for Valentine’s Day is that you get to choose every aspect of your night on the town. No compromising on the restaurant or movie! Instead, craft your perfect date. Maybe that means hitting up a winery in the afternoon, grabbing a table at your favorite restaurant, and then strolling along the beach to watch the sunset. Or, maybe it means hitting the trail for a relaxing jog, playing your favorite videogame for hours, and getting delicious takeout.

Whatever would make for a fantastic date is exactly what you are going to do.

How to Enjoy Your Date with Yourself

The key to dating yourself for Valentine’s Day is to work toward feeling comfortable in your own company. You may feel nervous about going to a movie by yourself but stick with it. Expect to feel a little awkward, at least at first, but eventually, these feelings of discomfort will fade as you realize no one else cares that you are by yourself. They have their own lives to worry about.

During your date, work on self-love by reminding yourself of all your best qualities. Bring a notebook and journal. Make a list of the challenges you have overcome recently (how about getting out of an unhappy marriage). Give yourself the same compassion and kindness that you would give to your best friends.

If you feel negative thoughts or worries trying to intrude on your date, push them away and refocus on living in the moment and appreciating yourself.

Ending Your Valentine’s Date

Don’t be afraid to add a little spontaneity to your date. That’s part of what makes them so fun! If you feel like treating yourself to ice cream, go for it! Or maybe the perfect end of your date involves cozy flannel pajamas, a bottle of wine, and your fav rom-com (the one you pretend you hate if anyone asks).

As your date comes to a close, it’s time to say those big three words. I love me. One marriage doesn’t define who you are, and it doesn’t mean you are unloved. You can never be unloved if you love yourself.

Now that’s a great Valentine’s Day!

This article is reprinted with permission from the Women's Institute for Financial Education (, creator of the Second Saturday Divorce Workshops. Founded in 1988, WIFE is a non-profit organization dedicated to providing financial education for women. Copyright 2019

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